Saturday, September 12, 2009

Out of the Blue

I talked to my sister Rhonda tonight. We have a regularly scheduled talk every Saturday evening at 8:00. We chatted for quite awhile about things that have happened in this week to us, funny stories from work, cute things her grandson said on the phone, the usual. We were just getting ready to say goodbye when she said, through tears, that she had a moment this week where she missed Mother and Daddy so much. She was just brushing her teeth and started crying out of the blue. I was surprised to hear her say that because I had one of those moments this week, too.

So, it has me thinking about the impact that people make on another life. Mother has been gone for 4 and 1/2 years and Daddy has been gone for almost 3 and 1/2. That initial numbing grief is gone. I miss them but I don't cry every day. I can, however, say that I think about one or both of them almost every day. Their voices and faces fade in and out of my mind. I can smell Mother's perfume on another lady and fight the urge to hug her just to take in the scent. I see a man drive down the street, fishing poles in the back of his truck, and see Daddy carrying me on his shoulders as we waded the Arkansas River to get to a good fishin' hole.

What kind of impression am I leaving on my children? Will they feel me when I am gone? Will a scent or sight or sound bring back sweet memories for them of me? I want the lasting impact I have on them to be something worth remembering.

1 comment:

LoriDarlin' said...

This is tough - I've had two dreams in the last few weeks about my mom passing and I just hug her and tell her I love her. I can't imagine my life without mom and dad...